Lanvin Birthday Canvas Tote | Bright And Cheerful Limited Edition Designer Tote

Posted on: May 4

Lanvin's unique brand of French chic usually outshines the competition. Which is why when I look at this Birthday tote, I just have to wonder what's going on. Did someone spike the designer's cafe au lait with mediocrity or what?

The Birthday tote looks like a Hallmark card. Not in a kitschy, self-conscious way, either. It looks like one of those cards made for and by middle-aged women that have terrible jokes about saggy boobs and menopause in them. Sure, the character on the tote is slightly hotter than your average middle-aged suburban housewife, but only ever so.

The actual tote is completely run of the mill. It's a white canvas tote with grosgrain piping. It's lined with red satin, but for $800, it should be lined with dollar bills. Not only does this bag violate my own personal "no canvas totes over $100" rule, but I am finding that the more I look at this bag, the more I am actually offended by the price tag. It's a cotton bag at a lambskin price.

Perhaps Lanvin wanted to create a really accessible fashion accessory for their anniversary, but the Birthday tote is failing miserably. At $800, it's only really accessible for the fashion elite, but with its terrible "LOVE" print, I just don't see any of them wanting it.